WE suffered badly from anxiety and depression for greater than 30 years. It got worse during high school and also even worse later on, as if it were intentionally attempting to make my life as unpleasant as feasible. This is my tale of terrific emotional pain, long years of seclusion, misery as well as utter despondence as well as just how we gradually found my way out of this dismal tunnel of misery as well as into the light of wisdom, happiness as well as wonderful alleviation. Together with all the troubles one normally obtains when maturing, the symptoms of panic disorder and not in the beginning knowing what they were, devastated my days at college as well as ruined my concentration with schoolwork. we would return totally wore down, aggravated and also incapable to focus on anything, particularly homework. we had actually an extremely limited social life and no partners.
WE suffered of what seemed like an eternity from social anxiousness, isolation, and extreme acne, mysterious fat burning, and crippling anxiety. we had an extreme disapproval of a lot of type of group sporting activities as well as had a truly difficult time attempting to suit anywhere. From elementary school to secondary school, we experienced much hazing from others and also much being rejected and also unrequited love from participants of the opposite sex we felt attracted to, resulting in a vicious circle of continued social anxiety, resentment of other’s appeal as well as success, and my frustrating feeling of denial, isolation as well as alienation. The suffering continued with university where we studied nutrition, psychology, astronomy and especially art as well as right into my work years. we might only find work that were simple and also anxiety cost free such as gardening, paint and phenibut powder kind supplements.
WE ultimately had a job dealing with an office building with a yard and also water fountain that required much continuous upkeep and also support. we am still working there today. Throughout the 70s, 80s as well as 90s, we tried in vain to find the root cause of my enduring through faiths, medical professionals, psychoanalysts, and so on only to be badly let down by their if’s all in your head diagnosis. It seemed MUCH worse than just anxiety neurosis or the later diagnosis of stress and anxiety problem. we could not think it. we thought we either needed to have heart disease, kidney failing, cancer cells, strokes, lumps, diabetic issues, lead poisoning, mercury, DDT, or any combination of the above. You name it felt like we had it. However, over as well as over all my tests exposed absolutely nothing significant or truly considerable, no toxins, and no poisonous substances, nothing that made good sense or was useful. we attempted counseling, Christianity, Christian as well as Religious science, eastern faiths, meditation, yoga exercise, as well as positive thinking for many years, yet still my issues just got worse.